Unlike the movies, this article is real. If you thought you could listen to Summer 2019’s hottest jam without a cowboy hat on, you were right. No need to buy a music listening hat. But I’m gonna put on my imagination hat and think like a billionaire for giggles. We’re not just gonna listen to Old Town Road, we’re gonna make like the music video and go there. Here are the stops we’re gonna make after we pay of our college debt, meet The One, invent that app, and rake it in (not up, Rake It Up is a different song).
What did Lil Nas X really mean when he said “Wrangler on my booty”?… This.
Doors are underrated, and that’s why Jeep Wranglers aren’t. You’re gonna have to go the way Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus are touring: classic but new-age, in the all new 2020 Jeep Gladiator. It’s a Jeep Wrangler Pick-Up. When your friends GHASP at your whip, look surprised. “Oh, this old thing?” You’ll say. “I didn’t even know it was a pick-up. It’s not that cool anyway.” Cruise your way down Old Town Road knowing that it actually is ‘pretty cool’.
Try This Look:
When your nav tells you, “Take The Next Left On Old Town Road”, everyone will be expecting you to wear a cowboy hat. Instead, you’re gonna spend a cool $1.2 mill on this hat. In 1972, Andy Warhol stuck a whole bunch of real $10 bills to a sun hat. He autographed one, and eventually gave it to one of his close friends Dr. Robert Giller (invaluable.com). Legend had it, Dr. Robert Giller was known in Andy Warhol’s circle of friends to be a massive party-er. Get your hands on this hat before anyone else does and you’ll one big hat to fill.
Try This Look:
‘Cus we know you’ll take the doors off your Gladiator, your shoes will show as you’re driving. Thus, it is recommended to rock shoes not for yourself, but for the on-lookers. Once again, for your choice of footwear, we will call on the classic-new-age style that Old Town Road is known for. Check out the 2017 Adidas x Jeremy Scott Cowboy Boots. At the time of writing this, there are two pairs available on eBay (Click here to see: one and two). Price tag says $699.99: louder than any hater I’ve ever met. Not the right size? Break your toes, bind ’em up if you have to, or don’t even show up to Old Town Road. How come I couldn’t find a picture of someone wearing them? Well because no one’s been cool enough to buy a pair. Until you, that is.
Try This Look:
Check Out Lill Nas X’s insta here. This was caught minutes before his most important appearance this summer: at the Ohio grade school that knew more of the words to Old Town Road than he did (See the video of his performance at RollingStone.com). You will find that real cowboys put their jeans or straps above their boots. But you didn’t wear the Adidas Cowboy boots to follow the rules. Wear black skinny jeans to begin your blackout look, and tuck those bad boys into your shoes. See my men’s and women’s pick below.
Women’s: Mid-Rise Skinny Jeans by Madewell
Men’s: Slim by L’Homme
Try This Look:
Lil Nas X flares the coat from time to time. The ‘flare’ is just him chillin’ with his coat on his shoulders, and his arms out of the sockets, hanging at his sides. See my Men’s and Women’s picks below. Afraid someone won’t respect your style as you pull-up to and through Old Town Road? Queue Old Town Road, to remind yourself that “Can’t nobody tell me nothin’ .”
Men’s: Music Motif Mens Boler Jacket by Rockmount
Women’s: Ex-Boyfriend Trucker Jacket by Levi’s
Try This Look:
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