Having an intimate connection with another person who’s seen you through the good and bad can be joyful, thrilling, yet terrifying all at once. It’s probably the most terrifying when your partner confesses their love for you – but you don’t know if you feel the same way. What do you do if have a bf or gf that you are unsure you love back?
If you’re unsure, don’t panic and break off the relationship. Being unsure about whether you love someone is natural – you’re simply guarding your heart.
What is love?
Love is a big deal – and should be treated as such. The topic of love is everywhere – in books, movies, music and social media. But how can you love someone if you don’t understand what love is?
For one thing, it’s not just a feeling. If love was purely based on romance and the butterflies in your stomach, we would all be hopping from one partner to the next, searching for that “feeling.” Love is a choice. It’s choosing to stick by your partner, even on days when they make you want to rip your hair out. The word choice covers far more than that, though. It also means choosing to put your partner above yourself. This might mean backing down from the petty arguments or going through inconveniences for your partner’s sake. Are you willing to choose your partner and put them above yourself? Judging from this definition of love, do you love your partner?
Take some time. Think about it.
It wouldn’t hurt to get some space as you reflect. Let them know that you enjoy being with them and really appreciate that they told you they love you – but that love is something you have to think about before you can say it to someone else. If your significant other truly loves you, they’ll understand. Get some space – thinking about something this important will be tougher with them around. You don’t want to be pressured into “loving” them back – this may stir up regret and resentment in the future.
Talk to someone, dammit!
Before I met my boyfriend, I met a few people who are commonly known as ask-holes.
Ask-holes are not necessarily assholes. They just tend to ask the same questions over and over in hopes of hearing an answer they like, but they never actually follow the advice given to them.
I never wanted to be an ask-hole, so when my boyfriend and I started dating, I kept my relationship under wraps. That is probably one of the worst things to do in a relationship, as well as handle any situation in life.
Other (trusted!) people have a more objective view of your relationship. You might be so emotionally invested that you can’t assess the situation clearly, and you don’t even realize it. Talk to a friend, sibling, or even a parent, and see what they think! There’s a reason you decided to read this article – you WANT another opinion. This article might help a bit, but someone who knows you and cares about you can probably offer more specific advice.
I could go on and on, but that would be redundant. With all these things in mind, I hope you find the answers you need. Good answers are not always the ones we look for. I also hope that whatever you decide, you’ll be brave enough to carry out your decision, even if it’s hard.
