You just can’t anymore. Classes are difficult. The professor never responds to your e-mails. You had a fight with your best friend and now she’s spreading that rumor about what happened last March at that frat party. Work has got you booked overtime. Your mom says Fido is sick back home and might need to be put down. Life is tough. College is tough. Mix the two together, and what do you get? You get a good knowledge of the 10 best places to cry at Kent State University when you just can’t anymore.
This upcoming physics exam feels like your brain is being put through a meat grinder, and you still have to make time to study for microeconomics, grab some kind of sustenance, take that shower you haven’t had in two days, and you lost your room key and your roommate won’t answer her phone. So where do you break down? Right over those lovely notes on quantum mechanics. At the end of the semester, you can staple your tear-stained notes to the course evaluation to show your professor exactly how you feel about the course!
Think of Lindsay Lohan eating her peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the restroom stall on the first day of school. This is the place to cry; surrounded by four walls with a locked door and plenty of tissue paper to wipe your tears. Don’t worry about getting caught with your pants down (embarrassed, I mean) because it’s a restroom and, well, there are worse things to be embarrassed about.
Before you do this, remember: DO NOT SIT DOWN. These are communal bathrooms, after all. The shower is always the perfect place to start your sobbing. It’s like holy water washing away your sins. Okay, maybe it isn’t “holy” exactly, but the hot water feels nice after you’ve survived another long day of lectures or exams or he-said-she-said drama. Another plus? When your makeup runs from all the tears, it washes right off!
Need a good cry, but you don’t want people you see on a daily basis listening to your breakdown? Try another floor! They might think you’re strange, but who cares? Because you don’t ever have to see them again. Unless, of course, you have another breakdown. Then you can just be known as, “That girl or guy who cries in the hallway every Tuesday night.”
Is your wallet feeling empty? Your purse is pinched? Bankcard a little flimsy? We got you. Being a college student is another way of crying, “Help! I’m up to my ears in debt, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford to live after graduation!” Financial Aid employees can help you sort out your loans and get you on track to paying them off ahead of time. Plus, because I’m sure those 25-cent ramen noodles are getting old by now, they have free mints! Who doesn’t want a free mint?
Dim lighting, full of people chattering, music blaring well above audibility. No one can hear you weeping over your breaded boneless wings and celery sticks. The hand-wipes are perfect for removing the mascara staining your cheeks.
Public transportation. What a lovely place to bawl your eyes out? It’s a little hard to walk to class and have a mental breakdown at the same time, so you might as well take the bus so you can put more effort into your breakdown.
If it’s his class that’s got you down, you might as well go straight to the source of your pain. Maybe it’s a little unprofessional for you to be blubbering before a college professor who has his Ph.D. in years-spent-crying-over-courses, but the matter-of-fact is, he might understand and try to ease the pain by explaining the material and reminding you that the final is optional, or this project is only worth a low percentage of your grade.
If you’re going to have a mental breakdown, why not do it around your friends or people with similar interests? Chances are, the members of the group you’re involved in are taking similar courses and are having the same problems. There are some organizations on campus who sort of specialize in mental health concerns and are there to hold your hand through the hard parts.
Okay, maybe not so “ha ha” as the other options. Psychological Services on the second floor of the DeWeese Health Center has a staff determined to help students heal emotionally and mentally. Schedule an appointment today by contacting them through the phone number provided on their website.
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