10 Reasons I Wish I Grew Up Literally Anywhere BUT Woodstock Georgia

As kids we don’t have the luxury of picking where we grow up. We try to make the best of our hometown but there some things you just can’t fix. I grew up in the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia in a town known as Towne Lake Hills. My childhood was pretty good but I am definitely not running back to TLP anytime soon. Here is a list of 10 reasons I wish I grew up literally anywhere but Woodstock Georgia…

Everything closes promptly at 9 p.m.

Towne Lake Hills is a decent sized town that is literally the epitome of suburbia and for some reason this town thinks you HAVE to be in bed by 9 p.m. sharp. Growing up my choices were either to go to local cinema or go to Starbucks that stayed open until 10 p.m.. I found myself with nothing to do on many, many occasions.

Everyone knows everyone

Towne Lake is no different than any other small town and that includes everyone knowing everyone. Some people may find a small town where you know everyone at the grocery charming, but to me it was horrible. I have always been a city boy at heart and growing up where you will run in to “that person” you 100% hate, 100% of the time was not all that enjoyable.

It’s Georgia

Towne Lake Hills is in the suburbs of Georgia about an hour north of Atlanta. Even though Towne Lake sits in northern Georgia, for some reason everyone wants to act like wannabe “southerners” that grew up deep in the swamps. My high school was full of camo-work boots and confederate flags that always seemed to cause problems. Because of this, I would rather be from anywhere but Woodstock Georgia.

I was deep in the closet

Being in Georgia and in a small town means that there are not very many opened minded people. The people in my town were very intolerant of any idea that does not reflect their own beliefs. It was if that the town was ruled by one mind that had one political, social, and religious belief. I did not come out of the closet until I moved out of this dreadful town because I knew I wouldn’t be accepted in my own hometown. Because of this, I would rather be from anywhere but Woodstock Georgia.

My dreams are bigger then my hometown

It seems as though everyone who moves to Woodstock or grew up in Woodstock never leaves. The town is full of people who all just seem to be stuck. Kids go to the local high, grow up and go to the local community college, and then get jobs at the local grocery store. Growing up having a dream bigger than this town was very discouraging. Everywhere I looked I saw people who didn’t achieve their dreams and didn’t think I could achieve mine either.

Football Kool-Aid

There is an odd and overwhelming pride for high school football teams. Even the adults with no kids will get angry about who won last weeks home football game. If football isn’t your thing, well, then you’re an outsider. This football Kool-Aid seeps down into the high school food chain and makes the football players feel as local celebrities and turns the town into a “Friday Nigh Lights” hell hole. Because of this, I would rather be from anywhere but Woodstock Georgia.

Notorious TLP moms

The notorious TLP (Towne Lake Parkway) moms are worse than high schoolers. In a small town like this, the stay-at-home moms have nothing better to do than gossip. The gossip at the bus top, rumors at the dinner table, and needles drama everywhere make Towne Lake Hills a never ending high school lunchroom.

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Be prepared to drive

Woodstock, Georgia is situated about an hour north of Atlanta toward Chattanooga. There really isn’t much going on in Towne Lake Hills besides restaurants (and not very many good ones). Chances are that if you want to do something actually fun you have to drive at least 45 minutes in any direction. AND once you’ve had your fun, you have to drive another 45 minutes back home. Because of this, I would rather be from anywhere but Woodstock Georgia.

Traffic

You would think a small town wouldn’t have much traffic but you would be wrong. Towne Lake Hills has two high schools, a middle school, an elementary school, and many pre-schools. For some reason, all of these schools seem to be let out at the same time. This means there are TONS of high schoolers who probably shouldn’t have their drivers licenses yet, angry moms who are late to pick up there kids, and grandparents who somehow got stuck in the traffic on their way home from the grocery store all at the same time.

TLP cops

With a combination of high school kids who love to do pot at the local playground, married couples fighting, and speeding moms, the cops of Towne Lake Hills are all less than pleasant and seem to hate kids. Chances are if you grew up in Woodstock, Georgia you got pulled over more than once by a “greater than thou” cop just because you were a kid.

Which of these reasons do you relate to if you would rather be from anywhere but Woodstock Georgia? Let us know in the comments.

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