Any Boy Who Hurts You Is Worthless

During high school I was in a very abusive and controlling relationship. I wanted to share how I got through that experience, as well as share my current experience in hopes that people realize life goes on. I started dating my high school boyfriend during the beginning of junior year. The boys I dated usually wanted me to put out and never speak to me again. If i said no, they’d sexually assault me in order to get their way. You are stronger than any boy who hurts you.

This relationship went on for three years and made it hard for me to get back into the dating scene. He was controlling every aspect of my lie; what I wore, who I hung out with, where I went and when. He even got angry for having to pick my little sister up at school or when I spent time with my grandma. Sometimes he’d hit me when he was angry with me. I was called a bitch, slut and told multiple times he wanted me to die. He even described how he wanted me to die. He cheated on me for two weeks with a girl I knew.

You may be asking yourself, why did she stay with him for so long; I was afraid. It is so difficult to get out of these types of relationships. You fear punishment or forms of back-lash. Sometimes, they simply won’t let you get out. I was told no every time I tried to say I wanted the relationship to be over. He’d call repeatedly, even when I would block him. He would turn off his called ID and his calls would go through. He even contacted my family members to find out where I was.

I Suffered Alone

It was at that moment I decided I needed to do something to get out of this abusive cycle. I realized I was stronger than any boy who tries to hurt me. My ex and I were at KMART and as I was about to get out of the car he hit me hard in the back. It knocked the wind out of me. I yelled, “that hurt” and got out of the car while he sat in my car for an hour. He refused to come inside the store. Any boy who hurts you is worthless.

I want everyone to know there is hope after years of trauma.

I recently got involved in a healthy relationship. We have similar values, beliefs and interests. Not to mention, we support one another in every way. He reminds me every day what I went through wasn’t common. He knows I’ve experienced pain and helps me through it. He’s been there for me when I’ve cried and understands why I need to take it slow in a relationship. Depression and anxiety are things he’s patient with me about and is proud of me for accomplishing little tasks. Every day he lets me know he appreciates me and that he’s lucky to have me. He listens, gives good advice, makes time for me and shows gratitude even though we go to different colleges. His patience is admirable and he is kind.

There’s love out there after abuse and trauma. You can regain your strength and trust in relationships again. Even when you feel like there’s no hope, someone will show you why that’s not true. To all my girls that fear what comes next after a breakup, I believe in you and you are so loved. You are stronger than any boy who hurts you.

I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.

• Start living the life she imagined living.
• Know your worth, then add tax.
• Some women fear the fire. Some women become it.
• You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still like air, I rise.

Let us know what you think about this article and why you are stronger than any boy who hurts you in the comments below!

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