An Uncensored Tour Of The 7 Words You Can’t Say On Television

Dirty words, as defined by Oxford, are offensive or indecent words. However, in 1972, the great comedian George Carlin started performing a monologue which he called “The Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television”. Now I realize some of these fucking words might not pack as much of a fucking punch in 2020, but 1972 was a whole different shit show. So much so, that Carlin was once arrested after performing the monologue. So, to pay homage to one of the greatest comedians of all time, and advocate for free speech, we will take you through all seven words that got Carlin arrested, uncensored!

Shit

Our very first of all the dirty words is a classic which can take several forms. “Shit” can be used to describe fecal matter, as an exclamation of discomfort or trouble, and what your ex can eat a big fucking bowl of. Since shit has numerous meanings, some being worse than others, nowadays you can get away with some usages of the word shit. For example, on television, you can use the word shit when it is not being used as a verb, but you can use it to describe general shit. So, you can totally say you need to grab all of your shit, but you can not say you have to take a shit.

Also, South Park had an episode where they used the word shit as much as possible, and ended up using it 162 times!

Piss

Unlike shit, “piss” only has one real definition, and that is your urine. However, piss is much more vulgar and is usually used when you really, really have to pee. That being said, piss can also be used as hyperbole, such as when something is so funny you almost piss yourself. Unless you actually do piss yourself. In that case, it is definitely not hyperbole. The last main term in which you may fucking hear the word piss is the phrase “taking the piss” and is used to describe mockery at the expense of someone else. This may be the only way you will ever hear piss on television.

Fuck

I was excited about this one. “Fuck” is very flexible grammatically speaking, since it can be used as a verb, adjective, adverb, and a noun, meaning you can fucking use fuck in every fucking sentence fucking imaginable. Typically speaking, the two main uses of fuck are to describe the act of sexual intercourse, or as an exclamation of anger. But if that shit was not fucking fun enough, you can add -ing or -er to the end of fuck, to expand the number of places in which you can use fuck. 

Cunt

A word that will surely divide opinion, “cunt” is supposedly a term that refers to the female genitalia (even though literally no one uses it for that). Beyond that, cunt has taken a new term, which is a vulgar term to call a woman. Now, the following thing I will say is not technically backed by fact or scholarly sources, but I promise you it is true. If you call a woman a cunt, she will literally fucking kill you. Cunt is a trigger word for women, and when called it, all rules get thrown out the fucking window. Seriously, she will cut off your fucking balls. All that being said, there is something truly magical about the word cunt, since it is one of only a few words left with the power to really shock someone. The only other word that comes to mind that can truly shock any as cunt does, I definitely can not and will not say here.

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Cocksucker

Of all the dirty words, “cocksucker” may be the most peculiar. Obviously, the term is supposed to mean someone who willingly massages the male genitalia with the mouth, otherwise known as sucking dick or a blowjob. However, it is used as a fucking insult, often to refer to someone as disgusting, or someone you have a general hatred towards. In other words, people who are called a cocksucker are generally not sucking a cock at the moment they are insulted. Rather, they probably just cut you off on the highway.

Motherfucker

An expansion of fuck, “motherfucker” is rarely used in the literal sense of intercourse with a mom, and rather refers to a fucking mean and vulgar person. It does not matter if the target has or had not ever fornicated with a female parent. if you hate them, they can be called a motherfucker. Motherfucker and cocksucker are interchangeable dirty words, and when one is said in an attempt to abuse someone, typically the other one is not too far behind. I got called a cocksucking motherfucker once by this weird kid in one of my class… that does not really add anything to this entry, I just think that is really fucking funny.

Tits

The final of the seven dirty words, “tits” have arguably lost most of the fucking punch it once had. Describing a woman’s source of power over the entire male gender, tits has become a more acceptable term, and you have probably said or at least heard the word in the past week. In recent years, tits have become an exclamatory term of anger, such as the word fuck. However, it is typically used in place of fuck for lesser incidents. For fucking example, a person who rear-ends someone in traffic will scream “fuck!”, while someone who overcooked their pasta would scream “tits!” Still, the female breasts are the main use of the words tits for the most part.

Dirty words are some of the most fun words to say, but make sure you use them with discretion, or else you might get your balls cut off by an angry woman. On a completely separate note, how fucking cool is Society19 for letting me write this article? How many places will let a college senior write tits and cocksucker multiple times for college credit? What is your favorite cuss word? Let me know in the comments below!