I have struggled with anxiety for a long time and I’m going to write an open letter directly to my anxiety which may help me cope better and fight it. I believe everyone should write an open letter to what scares them most. Here we go…
You’ve been in my life a long time now, longer than my happiness has lasted. You have been there and sometimes, when no one else has, you’ve comforted me and kept me where I thought I should be; locked away in my bedroom, too terrified to creep outside into the light of day. You’ve been a companion, an enemy, circling the thoughts in my head; forever the devil on my shoulder.
I am tired of feeling like I’m not good enough, that I can’t go outside, that I can’t face the world alone. So that is why, Anxiety, I am breaking up with you. I’m breaking up with this nonsense and the devil on my shoulder. The constant night terrors that launch me awake at midnight, my heart beating in my chest, praying to be let out.
Because I don’t want any more panic attacks while I’m out with my friends or when I’m alone; I don’t want to panic and stand still with everyone staring at me, wondering what I’m doing. I am breaking up with dizziness, palpitations, bad thoughts and most of all, the thing I fear the most: you.
I think it’s time I stepped forward from my shadow and into the light. It’s time to become me again; the authentic person who has a belly full of dreams and a heart full of love. I will achieve my dreams in spite of you, Anxiety. Because I’m not leaving this earth until I’ve conquered everything on my bucket list. That includes you, Anxiety. I will conquer you.
I won’t sit on the floor in a heap trying to make the pain stop. No, not any more. You will probably try to lurk in the darkness, waiting to make your move on me when I’m vulnerable, but I will always be one step ahead of you. I am better than you, Anxiety. You must realise that by now, right? That I will always be me and you can’t change that.
You’ve dragged me down before but this time it’s to late to let you sink your claws into me. Things are good now and I’ve moved on from you. I don’t want the panic attacks or worries anymore – I want to live. I am living my best life and that’s all because of me. You can take no credit, Anxiety. You have lost. So that is why I’m breaking up with you, Anxiety.
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