Discovering new albums to listen to can be difficult when you’ve got a full-time schedule, so I did the work for you! But how did I know what you would like? Simple – I asked the stars. Twelve minutes (hours) later, this popped out. Enjoy!
Self-expression is life to an Aries, and Lady Gaga’s iconic “Born This Way” plays loud and proud to that tune. A cutthroat tempo, unapologetic theatrics, and a strong, fearless icon speaking her mind is exactly the kind of channel Aries subscribe to. People born under this sign are fierce, thought-provoking and fight-ready. They need music to bolster their energy and brimming confidence. Gaga, who is an Aries herself, engineers sound aimed directly at that crowd to blast them into hyperdrive.
There may be rumors of Taurus being the laziest sign on the zodiac wheel, but they certainly do not apply to their work ethic. Taurus has the quality of grinding out a long and rewarding career packed with hits and then reaping the luxurious fruits of their labor – much like today’s favorite rapper, Post Malone, and his latest gem “Hollywood’s Bleeding”. With absurdly good choruses that practically ooze money, Post Malone is quickly proving he is as unstoppable as a bull. If Taurus doesn’t fall for Posty’s unwavering success and luxury aesthetic, then the tender melancholy in his music might hit a soft spot for the sympathetic Bull.
The ever-playful Twins loves to dance, but what they love even more is a lyrical genius. Don’t be surprised if their playlist is full of rap wizards, like Nicki Minaj and her golden record “Pink Friday”. Innovative and full of reckless abandon, Nicki serves tongue-twisting rhymes in a dusky, romantic hue. She’ll captivate with her words but also takes the time to show off her girly side with flirty fantasy and charm – not unlike the coy, teasing Twins themselves.
Cancer has probably downloaded all of Lana Del Rey’s albums by now, but if they haven’t streamed “Norman Fucking Rockwell!” yet, please do so immediately. It will hit all their soft, retro-nostalgia buttons with gusto. Lana is the queen of moods, probably because she herself is a Cancer (NOT a Gemini!), and this album is undoubtedly her darkest, moodiest yet. Twisted delusions of danger, glamour, American dreams and hopeless romance are a delicious fever dream to the zodiac’s moon child. They will undoubtedly swallow this album up in one mouthful.
This larger-than-life sign couldn’t be captured in a hit single. A major-label debut beaming with confidence and self-love is the only way a Leo will shine. Enter “Cuz I Love You” by Lizzo – a legend-making, soulful record flaunting anthems on self-expression, talent, love, and big dreams. Hear the lioness roar! Leo’s inner light shines on a brighter frequency than most others, and with Lizzo’s message to embrace your inner strength, she’s adding fuel to the fire. Not to mention these are the kind of jams Leo can show off their twerking abilities to.
Emerging from toxic relationships, anxiety, depression, chronic illness, and a hermetic hiatus, Selena Gomez proves through her album “Rare” that self-improvement creates self-perfection. She’s resilient, shockingly upbeat, and daringly bold by baring her greatest vulnerabilities. If there’s one sign who can aspire – or admire, at the very least – this feat of growth and progress, it is the enlightened Virgo, whose quest for sweeping reforms for the body, mind, soul, and the world is endless. Don’t think for a second you can knock this girl down. Virgo can endure the hardest hits because they have the invaluable talent to snap right back.
Alluring escapism, gleeful melodrama, and undeniable melodies bring the entire room together through Tay-Tay’s hopelessly romantic words. “1989” exemplifies Libra’s glossy style and wistful romanticism. If there’s anyone who can relate to Taylor Swift’s musical response to the negative press who criticized her for dating too many guys (and then writing songs about them), it is Libra, the zodiac wheel’s most feverish lover. The entire mood is draped in the aesthetic of big-city dreams and dazzling affairs. What more could a girl want?
Billie Eilish shares two things with Scorpions: a hypnotic stare and a sharp sting. This sardonic teen eschews all well-tread paths of the American pop star to instead roam the dark underbelly of the human mind with her album, “When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?”. Inspired by night terrors and visions, Billie writes with a singular purpose: to home in on peoples’ fear with a microscope. Scorpio, the comic book villain of the zodiac, couldn’t be more in touch with such deviate, suspect behavior. They like to bewitch you – and the way they do it makes us like to be bewitched.
For the party-ready centaur, they probably already have “Fine Line” by Harry Styles on their playlist. His trek into rock n’ roll stardom using retro looks, heartbreaker ballads, and psychedelic mushrooms, if anything sounds like just kind of vacation Sag would sign up for. Just like Styles, the centaur leans to their own playfully flirty ways as well (sometimes to a fatal extent). Their weird, adorable personality makes them the life of the party – just like this record.
The wise old owl of the zodiac will certainly appreciate Adele’s poetic sonnet capturing time gone by in her album, “25”. Capricorn is no stranger to heartache. This formidable sign loves hard and fast and spares no time to lick their wounds – a habit that may help or hinder them. Most importantly, they persevere. Like Adele, they turn pain into power and soul, soldiering through the rubble and clawing back to the top again. This album tells Cap to let go and march on.
Call it cyborg-pop. Post-internet. Experimental. Post-humanism. Whatever Grimes’ “Visions” is it certainly revolves around an Aquarian’s favorite topic: the future. Her nebulous record provokes thoughts about artificial intelligence, what it means to be human, and what lies on the horizon for digital music. The gloomy tones filtering in and out between tracks will whisper to Aquarius’ soft spot for fatalism. Will the apocalypse be today? Or Tuesday? Whenever it happens, this album will play ominously in the distance.
Dreamy, vaporous Pisces subconsciously drifts toward the lost and vulnerable, which means Tyler, the Creator’s “Igor” won’t be hard for them to find. It’s an emotionally charged piece with surreal edges and pleading lyrics. Pisces loves unconditionally, and Tyler’s themes of empathy, unrequited love, and giving yourself completely to someone resonates with their idea of martyr romance. “Igor” walks Pisces back into the rose-hued primordial ooze that the fish secretly longs to return to, and they follow the dream with glee.
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