A Mindful Medium: Steps To Handling Conflict

Handling conflict could seem like the hardest thing to do in a heated conversation, controversial topic, or disagreement. Conflict is something we all may face in life at some point, and it’s best to know how to get through situations unscathed. Is there honestly a “best policy” with managing conflict? Here are some suggestions for “a mindful medium,” just a few steps to deal with conflict.  

Cool Off or Take a Chill Pill

Conflict is a normal part of life and is essentially inevitable! It is necessary to calm down in any situation to be able to think with a clear mind. Being mindful of your emotions and your voice and tone is a must to effectively communicate and get your thoughts across without further blowing up the problem. Relax and take deep breaths if you have to! I know it may seem impossible in the heat of the moment, but it is possible and takes some time to do this. I recommend walking away and having some time to shift your focus to something positive, get some fresh air, and organize your thoughts. However, this may seem inappropriate in some cases, so I would remain respectful and state that you need a moment to maintain courtesy and respect. And in those instances where you can’t walk away where it is absolutely not an option, you want to pause and reevaluate to appropriately manage the conflict.           

Communicate 

Communication is of the utmost importance when handling conflict because how will you effectively navigate the issue without talking about it with the other person? With disagreement, good communication can break the ice, ease that tension, and provide grounds for trust and mutual understanding in conflict conditions. To resolve conflict, it is critical to be honest, and express yourself directly to provide clarity when speaking so as not to create double meanings. No one likes a hidden meaning, and coming right out with what you really want to say is best to get to the root of the problem faster. 

Negativity Won’t Work Here.

 Negativity is not a productive way to manage conflict, and in reality, it only makes it worse. Yelling, screaming, and using derogatory terms to get your point across get you nowhere. It only further surmises immaturity on your part. Something is unnerving about reacting negatively in any form of conflict, and if you examine those moments where people yell at each other and such, does it really ever end? Is anything ever resolved? No, it stems from frustration, a fight for dominance, rejection of another view, etc. If not dealt with properly, it escalates and is never good. It heightens the tension and insights grounds for no improvement. So in dealing with conflict, don’t do this; assess your emotions and accept your anger because it’s alright to be upset in a situation as long as you handle it properly by controlling yourself.        

Point Of View, Really

 Any conflict is best dealt with when considering the perspective of all parties involved. Why is this important, you say?  It allows you to resolve the dispute constructively so that everyone is contented with the result. Successful problem solving and conflict management relies on seeing the bigger picture and navigating your ability to take in another’s point of view to understand how the conflict represents itself to properly conclude solutions and what caused the overall reaction to the problem at hand. Without this, your point may be extremely limited and incomplete to grasp the details of the whole. A lack of insight is unrealistic to properly assess and obtain the necessary middle ground.        

So What’s The Problem

 Often, we may not know the root of the problem, and that conflict may stem from something totally different from what we actually disagree about. It is wholly necessary to not lose sight of a solution. Looking at the emotions involved, the real issue, and maybe even your desire to win or be right is also essential to recognize their existence to address them and come up with a way to resolve it. Some suggestions to find the problem are acknowledging heated emotion, canceling out harmful noise surrounding the conflict, and redefining the desire to conquer rather than genuinely settling the debate openly and without hostility.     

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Come Up With A Solution

Individuals can’t be expected to agree on everything. Coming up with a solution may just be a mindful medium. It is most effective to enter into a win-win point of insight to resolve the situation. The answer is not in who’s right or wrong. Instead, it is looking at each individual’s needs to generate a point of mutual agreement. Generate multiple alternatives and determine the actions that need to be taken. Remember to be positive and allow people to actively negotiate their needs and expectations. Don’t point fingers and show a willingness to compromise or collaborate while prioritizing resolving the issue over being right. Finding a solution can be highly satisfying!   

If All Else Fails Seek Help

Have you ever heard when all else fails, seek help? It’s good to advise! Most of the time, we don’t see an option or a way to actively handle conflict, and that’s okay. I understand that it may be hard to ask for help, especially in interpersonal or internal strife. It is the worst! What if the problem persists? Seeking help is always good to ensure that we effectively deal with specific situations. Also, those that help us may just give us an awareness of what we want or need to appropriately face issues. Facilitators make it easier to come up with solutions and can guide you when challenges seem harsh and arise. Note that those problematic situations can build character and aid in communication skills while helping you learn to navigate through them and be better equipped for the world around us.   

How have you handled conflict as a college student or in any life situation, and how has it changed your perception of settling them? Tell us in the comments, and remember it’s never too late to seek help when problems represent themselves!

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