10 Types of People You’ll See on St. John’s University Campus

St. John’s University is a medium-sized liberal arts college and I had very specific ideas on the kind of people I expected to see. I expected to see just a bunch of really artsy, super-attractive and amazingly hipster kind of people. Admittedly, I had very high and ridiculously unrealistic hopes for it but I had really put a lot on the “liberal arts” part in application to the students. These people definitely exist but they don’t make up the majority of the students on St. John’s University campus. We have a wide variety of people here, kinda like a buffet…keep reading to learn more…

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The Basketball Dudes

You don’t see these dudes so much in the winter, I guess you could say they hibernate like bears, or maybe they just play in places I dare not go (or I’m too lazy to go.) If the sun’s out and it’s warm enough to not need a heavy jacket these boys are out in full force, on the basketball courts located beside the dining hall and in front of the residence halls. Playing with no discernible teams or rules, (not that I know the rules which might be why it’s a little hard to tell.) I can’t say I know who qualifies to play or how they all know it’s going down on that day. Telepathy? Group text?

totalprosports.com

The People Watching the Basketball Dudes

These people, usually girls with just a sprinkling of boys, sit on the side lines, socialize, and more importantly dance to the music playing from what I’m assuming is some guy’s backpack (see next point.) Dabs and nae nae’s flying all over the place as people show off their moves…It’s really just a kind of an impromptu, friendly dance battle that sometimes ends up on the court when the game is finished. It’s great to watch and loads of fun.

The Speaker Guy

This guy is a walking boom box and you never know where he’ll appear, (you usually hear him before you see him.) This is the guy, (and it’s 99.9% always a guy,) who has a speaker in his backpack and is blaring his music as he walks around campus. This may sound weird but never fear, speaker guy always has his crew near. They dab as they go to show appreciation for his taste in music and his amazing speaker pack. There are no places the speaker guy will NOT go, it’s not uncommon to sit down for a meal and hear music coming seemingly from nowhere.

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The Athlete

This person is perpetually dressed in their team uniform or in some gear that lets you know that they’re in a sports team. A sweatshirt, a back pack, a shirt…more often than not they’re dressed in everything and it leaves you wondering whether or not they’re constantly going to and from practice. Or whether or not they own anything other than their team kit.

greatdaytobeanathlete.

The “I’ve got places to be” Girl

This is without a doubt my favorite person you see around campus. This girl is dressed to kill. She has heels on and her outfit is on point. She looks so great that she could walk into a magazine and fit right in and she’s JUST going to class. Every time I see a girl like this walk by me, I think “YOU GO GIRL!” and then I have a brief moment where I think that I should also put in that amount of effort into how I look… Then I remember how lazy I am and go back to just appreciating how great this girl looked. I am also in awe of these girls because I would not last even a minute in heels with the amount of stairs and hills there are at this school. For every one of these girls there are at least 4 guys in a suit and they too are JUST going to class.

The Person Who Went Out Last Night

We’ve all seen this person. They look a little tired, smell like a little too much body spray and are more often than not more than a little hungover. One sure fire way of spotting this person in the wild though, is to look at their hand where you will undoubtedly find a huge X scrawled there in black or green marker and sometimes they have one of those impossible to tear bands you only get at a club around their wrist. Sometimes, they even have both because the night was probably young and bar hopping sounded like a great idea OR they went to one place and the bouncer was a little overzealous. Did I mention that it’s probably a Wednesday?

The Video Game Guys

These guys are the most surprising and probably the most unknown but they can be found in the D’Angelo Center with a little T.V. and a gaming console on the desks in front of the concierge. I’m not too sure what they play or how they decide who gets to play but play they do and it gets surprisingly rowdy for a bunch of guys sitting in front of a tiny T.V.

sporcle.com

That Guy Who Needs to Be Swiped into Monty’s

Alright, I don’t know if this is just one guy or a league of guys… but this is the guy who lurks (yes, I said lurks,) outside Monty’s (the dining hall) and waits for people to walk towards it so he can ask them to swipe him in to eat. Many a person has swiped this guy in, totally unaware of the cost. I have heard a story of a girl who fell victim to this guy but instead of asking her he just swiped himself in because she was a little too preoccupied to hear what he was telling the person working the counter.

How to Dress Like Jess (From New Girl)

The Obsessive Snapchatter

Real stiff competition here for most annoying person you see between this person and the guy who needs to be swiped into Monty’s. Things this person is most likely to be heard saying (repeatedly) in a conversation include but are by no means limited to:

“Did you see my story?”
“Did you see *insert name here* do *insert activity here*? It’s on my story”
“What happened…? Just go watch my story!”
“I HAVE to snap this…”
“OMG! Our building got a geotag!”
“Did you see that geofilter?”
“Which filter do you think I should use?”
“You’ll never guess who watched my story?”
“Someone saw me doing *insert really ridiculous thing here* for my snap story and I’m just so embarrassed.”

There are many more but I think you catch my drift here. These people are also almost constantly looking down or for the next thing to put on their snap story. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to care where they are or who’s around them, moving their body and their phone however they see fit to get the best snap.

The “Yup, they just rolled out of bed” Person

Pretty self-explanatory but I’ll explain just because…they’re that person who looks like they literally just rolled out of bed and came to school. A lot of the time this person just has rolled out of bed but we don’t judge because morning classes are real. Attire includes and is most certainly not limited to:

Pajamas (A set of just the pants)
Bed head
Bedroom slippers
A sleepy expression
A teddy bear

Okay, I’m joking about that last one…mostly. Just looking at this person makes you long for your bed even more than you already were. These are the people that you look at as you drag yourself to your morning class and all you can think is, “Same.”