Thoughts From A Teva Shoes Skeptic And Why We Question Them
In our modern world, there are tons of things to be skeptic about. The moon landing, ghosts, whether or not Avril Lavigne actually died in 2003 , and most importantly, Teva’s. Yes, Teva’s. They are sandals (apparently shoes too) that are currently taking over the feet of people from all walks of life. What’s the appeal? From someone who doesn’t get it, here are a few thoughts on Teva shoes.
1. They be expensive
With the price maxing out at around $200, one single pair of Teva shoes could send your bank account back to the Middle Ages. Sure the time of knights, kings and queens seem cool and all, but this was also when the Bubonic plague struck and people barely lived into their 60’s. You are better off spending that money on an entire outfit, or better yet, the essentials because we know that you are a broke college kid that needs to implement better spending habits (you know the not-so-fun stuff such as food, rent, toiletries).
2. Tevas give off major dad vibes
Dad fashion is synonymous with everything unfashionable: White New Balances with high socks, jean shorts, t-shirts tucked in. Just look at your own dad and you’ll get the jist. Now look at Teva shoes. The velcro straps, the plastic buckles, those all look as if your dad decided to take the sandals from his own closet and resell them on Depop. Vintage style is in, sure, but since that’s the case then just hit your dad up for his true vintage sandals rather than faux vintage that’ll set you back half a paycheck.
3. Faddity, fad-fad
What do silly bands, wallet chains and mullets have in common? Ridiculousness of course, but they were also all fads that the youth couldn’t get enough of. Tevas seem to strike the same vain as these once massively popular trends that eventually faded into the fashion that once was. Fashion from a particular decade usually takes around 20 years to make a resurgence, and if that’s the case, Tevas (which give off a strong 90s vibe) will soon be filtered out for bedazzled jeans, tube tops and popped collars.
4. An unhealthy obsession
There is nary a casual Teva wearer. One either has no idea these sandals exist or they make a quick jump to the land of excessive enthusiasm at the mere mention of them. Which presents a theory, yes folks a …*pause for dramatic effect*…conspiracy theory. Does Teva put something in their shoes that make a wearer have a irresistible itch for everything Teva? It’s a valid point and it presents some open ended (and open toed) questions. Keep an eye out for some headlines people, there is potentially a breaking news story a-coming.
5. There are just sandals (and shoes, but mostly sandals)
Like everything material, a pair of Teva shoes are nothing more than an accessory (albeit an expensive one) to outfits and provide arch support for long treks. Being a skeptic as to why some people love these silly things is just an opinion and should not be something one should lose hours of sleep over (at least any more than they already have). Next year maybe the hot sandals will be ones made out of paper bags and thumbtacks, only the passing days will tell.
