An Open Letter To My Best Friend
A letter to my best friend: Elizabeth
There are few relationships so strong that we can make ourselves believe they can never be broken. Of course, family is at the top of that list, followed closely by romantic relationships. But there is also friendship—the family members we choose. And you chose me before I chose you. I’m here today to tell you how grateful I am.
But first, I will begin by saying that we’re both all words. We have to be to be actors. After all, words are how people go from complete strangers to being the best of friends. However, I express words much more easily on paper, while you can talk for hours. I love to listen to you talk—but, for one moment, can I ask you to take a seat and listen to the silence? Not so much silence as stillness. That’s how I speak—in the stillness. It is my hope that my silent words will somehow reach you where my spoken words have failed.
It’s been one year now—can you believe it? Not since we met—that was a few years ago—but since we realized that we could potentially have a really good thing going here. Take the most outgoing, happiest person alive and pair them up with a quiet, scheming rational—that describes us in a nutshell. Yes, you can smile. You know it’s true.
But not everyone wanted that. Well, they wanted you. Who wouldn’t? You’re so alive, so exuberant, so—everything I’m not. People looked at me and only saw a refrained, quiet individual and assumed that I wanted nothing to do with them. But you looked deeper and saw a heart that felt just as much as any other heart and a mind that was absolutely alive with stories and ideas.
And you found value in someone that everyone else had just tossed aside.
Every day, you make me believe that I have worth—that I matter. That I am not just a speck roaming aimlessly in a crowd of people but a human being to be loved. It took me twenty-one long years to find you, but now look how far we’ve come. This is why I decided to write this letter to my best friend, you Elizabeth.
And now…I worry that I am about to lose you.
I know it’s selfish of me to say this, but I envy your fiancé. We all met at the same time, but because of the order of this world, I have to say goodbye, and he gets to keep you forever. Sometimes I wake up at night wondering what it’s going to feel like to lose you. Friends get scattered. Friends have to say goodbye. Goodbye. That word. In my opinion, there is no word as ugly as that.
As hard as it is to come to terms with this, I know it’s coming. However, until then, I’m going to hang onto you as tightly as I can for as long as I can. I only wish I could learn to let go well when the time comes. Maybe I will. I’ll figure it out when it gets here. Just know that as I write this letter to my best friend, you, I realize how important you are in my life.
In the meantime, let’s not stop. We’ve come a long way, and I feel as if I have only reached the tip of the iceberg when it comes to understanding you inside and out. If you’ll let me, I want to grow to know you more. I want to learn you by heart because I believe that that is the only way I will ever know how to really take care of you when you are hurting and help you when you need a willing hand.
I guess what I’m really trying to say is this: will you let me be more a part of your life? I’m ready—but only if you let me. And in return, I will let you in more, too.
I love you to pieces, Elizabeth. We have one year left together. Let’s make it count.
Your friend,
Madison
