13 Things I Don’t Tell My Mom When I Know I Should
My mom is my best friend. That being said, there are some things I don’t tell my mom nearly as often as I should.
She is always there for me, always caught up on the latest gossip, knows who everyone is crushing on, and she’s the first person to make me feel better when I’m having a pretty shitty day.
There are times when I should really be the one there for her instead of the other way around. Here are 13 things my mom needs to hear, as told by pictures of us and of our second favorite mother-daughter duo, Lorelei and Rory Gilmore. This one’s for you Mom!
1. I Love You
While everyone hopes that their mom knows they love them, there are certainly times that it wouldn’t hurt to say it. I don’t always say it when I hang up the phone, leave the house, or when I go to bed at night.
Deep down, I hope my mom knows I love her so much. She is so important to me, and I should be telling her how much I love her every time I say goodnight or goodbye. Even when we fight and I’m barely speaking to her because of my inherited stubbornness, I should tell her I love her more than anything. She wants to hear it. Moms know we love them, but they really want us to tell them, and to affirm the fact that we do in fact care about them.
2. Thank You
My mom would do anything for me. Whether it’s getting up early to drive me to school or standing in the cold for two hours during a cross country meet, she will do it. My mom has never missed a ceremony or one of my hundreds of races. She was there for me on senior night even when I was being a royal bitch and I never thanked her. Sure, she may not have actually come to a speech meet but she was the one getting me up at 4 a.m. and listening to me get ready to leave. My mom was the one I was on the phone with when I was walking back to my dorm at 1 a.m. after getting home from work. One of the many things I don’t tell my mom: thank you for everything. Please know that even when I don’t actually say thank you, I am forever grateful for the things you are willing to do for me.
3. I Need You
Since I have been required to do more things on my own and act like an adult who has their life together, I have needed my mom more than ever. Sometimes I would call her seven times a day while I was in school. “I need you” was one of the things I don’t tell my mom but should have. Every time I would have some new problem I knew I had to fix but had no idea how I was going to fix it. My mom had to show me how to do taxes even though it is pretty self explanatory. I needed her to talk to me when I was done with trying to be a doctor. Whenever my very clumsy self found another cut, scrape, bruise, or burn, I needed her. Overall, being an adult has just made me need my mom more. I don’t remember needing her this much in 3rd grade. This is the girl that was not exactly your highest scoring child in common sense and street smarts in 3rd grade. Tell your mom you need her, remind her that she still has a place in your life.                                                              Â
4. I Miss You
My mom and I were separated by exactly 218 miles, and approximately 3.5 hours while I was at school. I missed my family because I knew I couldn’t disappoint them even when I was pretty upset about my score. Regardless, my mom was always proud of me. I missed going home to a home cooked meal that was hot when I got there, that didn’t involve brown lettuce or soggy bread, and especially having good pasta.
I missed my whole family, but I missed my mom being there to tell me what to do to fix something or how to feel better. When she texted me to take a hot shower and a nap while I was stressed and probably about to cry, it wasn’t the same as actually being there. My mom is my twin, my best friend, and I missed her like crazy. Especially when I was having a bad day and just wanted her to tell me that I was going to be okay. My mom definitely missed me and I probably should have told her I missed her too. Every time I called my dad I told him I missed him, but it was one of those things I don’t tell my mom. That might be because I called her so often but I am positive my mom would have loved to hear me tell her I missed her.
5. You Matter
Moms need to know that they are important too. Even when we are all incredibly busy and barely have enough time to eat, it’s important to tell your mom how much she matters. This could be as simple as a text saying “hey,” noticing that their hair is different, or taking a picture with her even when she doesn’t want you to. Make sure your mom knows she’s important to you just like you are important to her. Moms make you their first priority all of the time, try to make her your first priority at least some of the time.
6. Let Me Help You
My mom will do everything even when she shouldn’t. Even when she cannot physically do something, if I need her to, she will do it. There are definitely things I don’t tell my mom like that I should have offered to help more than I did. Tell your mom you will help with the dishes or with dinner. She needs help. She may not seem like it, but even those stereotypical movie soccer moms don’t actually have their lives as together as it may seem. They probably have their life a lot more together than you do but not so much that help isn’t needed or appreciated. Offer to help your mom with something. It’s unlikely that she will say no. Unless all you can cook is toast, then she might redirect you.
7. You Are My Hero
I look up to you a lot. Even when you pretend everything is fine, you manage to have your life together enough to take time to watch an episode, better yet a season of Gilmore Girls. You have a way of disguising hell enough for even when I know we are in hell, it seems like we are in the first ring instead of the seventh.
My mom is the only one who can truly calm me down when I’m sobbing about the guy I was in love with dating other people. She does this all while managing my sister, money, being sick, and taking care of our dog whose stuck in the terrible twos. Meanwhile, she’s the only person I know who can stay calm when we are all cracking up over K crawling out of the crib and standing at the top of the stairs because he decided he wanted grilled cheese instead of taking a nap. You are my hero. I hope at some point in my life I can be that composed when things aren’t going the way I want. I hope someday to be like you.
8. I’m Sorry
My mom and I fight. It’s most likely because we are both the same sarcastic, stubborn person who’s unwilling to change their opinion. Sometimes, most of the time, even when I know she is right, one of the things I don’t tell my mom is “I’m sorry.” Tell your mom you screwed up and that you didn’t mean to hurt her. You didn’t mean to say all of the things you said in the heat of an argument. She needs to know you are sorry that you disagree with her or that you watched Netflix instead of taking the chicken out of the freezer like she asked. Tell her you are sorry when you don’t do what she asks or when you say something you shouldn’t have.
Moms want a “sorry.” They want to feel like you are still the sweet innocent baby who never said something to hurt her feelings, who never made a bad decision, or experienced any pain. Just because you want to be right, doesn’t mean you should forget that she’s probably right and she’s a person too. Saying sorry is just one of those things I don’t tell my mom and I have learned that it doesn’t hurt anything more than my pride.
9. You Are Doing An Amazing Job
You are doing a really good job. I have all of my limbs and I’m not some hobo on the street. I get good grades and I’m not in jail for selling drugs on the side of the road. People appreciate me which means they appreciate you and I’m successful. Other parents like me which means you did something right, or you at least taught me to be a perfect angel when I am around other people’s parents. You may have no clue how to handle my erratic behavior or how to make me shut up, but one of the most important things I don’t tell my mom is “you are a good mom.” You are good at this and everyone knows that having two teenage girls isn’t easy. I hope I can be as good as of mom as you. Even more so, that my dogs like me as much as Shadow likes you.
10. I Don’t Know What I Would Do Without You
If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be who I am today. From graduating high school, to running three half marathons, none of it would have been possible without you. I don’t know who else could make it all better or better yet, threatened to call anyone who hurt me. In the case where you weren’t going to call, you would at least offer dad’s services to fix it. I have no idea what would happen to me if I didn’t have you. It’s likely I would sleep all day, watch Netflix, live with dirty dishes, and never eat a cooked meal. I would never make it anywhere because I don’t deal with stress well. I would lack motivation and I would be miserable. The things I don’t tell my mom are endless. One of the most important is: you got me to be who I am.
11. I Need A Hug
I’m not okay and the only thing that can fix it is a hug. I needed a hug from my mom a lot more than I was willing to admit. Please just give me a hug and make all of the pain go away.
12. You Don’t Need To Worry
I know you are going to worry but you don’t need to. I will figure it out and I will be okay. You have taught me well. You don’t need to worry.
13. I’m OK
Moms worry all the time. They worry when you get behind the wheel of a car. They worry when you are at all college away from where they can see you. Mom’s will be there when you call crying and when you call to say everything is okay. They are usually things I don’t tell my mom but moms want the “ordinary” calls. The ones that say “I got an A on my chemistry final.” They love the text that says “Doing good today, remembered to eat all three meals.” She may never stop worrying but at least by telling her you are okay. This will ease her worry for .5 seconds.Â
Share the things you don’t tell your mom as often as you should in the comments below!
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