8 Things More Reliable Than Ohio University Wifi

Ah, Ohio University Wifi. We’ve all experienced it: you’re happily watching Parks and Rec on Netflix when all of a sudden, your screen goes black, then white. Google Chrome’s dreaded dinosaur appears on your screen, bringing you the news that you no longer have internet connection. Better yet: you’re working on a test on Blackboard, racing with the clock to meet that midnight deadline, when– wouldn’t you know it– no internet connection.

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Let’s face it: Ohio University’s wifi is just not something you can count on. It’s so flaky that even these 8 things are more reliable than it!

1. All the good seats at Donkey are taken by other coffee enthusiasts.

You can actually always depend on this happening. Any day of the week, any time, Donkey always seems to be packed.

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2. The well known “Shively sh*ts.”

Again, this is more likely to happen than a lot of other things on earth. Something about Shively food demolishes OU students’ tummies.

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3. “Weenie Wednesday” at Larry’s.

Mmmm. Larry’s Dawg House. Always a go-to. So bad for you, but so, so, good… and many a college students look forward to Weenie Wednesday, when they can get deals on footlongs and other hot dogs.

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4. Parking services.

Don’t leave your car for more than a minute: they are like vultures.

5. Internet Explorer.

Yep. If Internet Explorer and OU’s wifi were in a cage fight (although it would be the longest, slowest, most uneventful cage fight in the history of cage fights,) I’d bet my money on good ol’ I.E.

21 Tips for Freshmen Attending UA

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6. Yik Yak drug dealers.

There’s more of a chance that guy from Yik Yak giving you Ecstasy bars is being honest about what’s actually in them than OU’s wifi working smoothly throughout the day.

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7. Whiny students complaining about OU’s wifi.

Let’s face it: we OU students like to whine. Especially about the wifi. Which– did I mention?– is slow.

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8. Getting towed.

Even getting towed is definitely more reliable than the Wifi here.