Before I leave for college, there are 5 things that I want my parents to know…
Just like you taught me growing up, I never drank, I never smoked, and I never tried any drugs. Additionally, to ease your worries, I don’t plan on trying any of that in college either. The thing is, not doing those things doesn’t make me any better of a person than my friends who did, and it won’t make me any better of a person in the future either. Making mistakes is just a part of shaping who we are, and just because I didn’t make those mistakes doesn’t mean I didn’t make others. Even though my mistakes may have brought me many hurdles to jump over, it’s important to remember that they made me into the person I am today. That’s just how life works.
I copied a lot of my friends in high school. Not only did I copy homework and tests, but I also copied personalities. Over the years, you noticed my changes, but I’m not sure if you noticed that I changed because of them. That’s not a bad thing. It just means that a part of who I am is a part of who my friends are. I adopted catch phrases and facial expressions and general mannerisms from each of my friends, and that’s going to keep happening. I used to say that the thing that made me the most unique is that I am a completed puzzle of pieces my friends donated to create me. I’m going to change even more as I get older, and while I’ll still be me, I’ll be carrying my friends everywhere I go.
I’m going to text you and maybe sometimes call, but when I’m crying alone on a Sunday night because I miss home, you won’t get a Skype call from me in tears. You won’t have to struggle to understand me through sobs over the phone. I won’t call you. I’ll find my brother, a few dorm buildings over, and he’ll talk me through the homesickness, because he’s done it all before. Or I’ll text my friends and ask them to distract me with their most recent college stories. I won’t call you because all of that is better than reminding myself that I can’t come home. I won’t call you, and it won’t be because I don’t want to talk to you. I won’t call you because I need to learn how to handle life’s heartaches without my mom and dad.
I’m probably not going to be an honor roll student, and it’s not because I won’t be trying. I will probably sleep through a few classes and I’m sure I won’t ace all my tests, because you know I struggle with those. I might lose my room key and I’ll probably spend way too much money on useless things because I’m addicted to sporadic Target shopping. There’s no silver lining to this story. There’s no lesson to be learned from this information. I just want to warn you that I’m no perfect daughter, but I will do my best to right the wrongs I’ve done, and will always try my hardest to measure up to the daughter you raised me to be.
The moral of all of this, of the confessions and predictions and tears on my keyboard, is that I’m going to survive. My friends and I played “who’s most likely to,” and when asked “who’s most likely to drop out of college,” they all pointed to me and blamed it on “emotional stress.” In a sense, they were right. They know me well enough, and so do you, to know that I’m not as strong as I seem. While I’m ready to thrive in the college community, to make new friends, to be on my own, and to rediscover myself, the idea of entering what seems like a whole new world terrifies me. Despite all of this, I’m determined to become the one who’s “most likely to succeed.” My determination is going to overshadow my fears and worries, and I’m going to be okay. You’ve raised me to do great things, and now is when I’ll show you that I can.
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