5 Things to Talk About on Your First Date

First dates are always nerve racking. We all fear those long awkward silences where time feels like it is just not moving. If you come prepared, you won’t be as nervous. Dates should be less stressful and more fun. Remember. Your first date should not get too deep. You are just getting to know the person. Below are some topics and questions that I learned are quite useful to keep the conversation flowing.

Some tips to follow:

• Have no expectations. If your friend sets you up with someone that they claim to be perfect for you, let that go and just go in with an open mind.

• It is okay to have awkward silence. It is normal. It happens to everyone.

• If you are going blank, you can easily just que to your environment.

• Keep all conversations positive. No politics. No discussions on past relationships. No negativity.

• Try not to overshare. You want some mystery.

• Don’t feel like you must sit through a whole date. You can leave whenever you want.

1. Bring up the basics

The basics should be the first things you talk about or that you ask them. They get you a little more comfortable and get the conversation flowing. Also, you can make some connections that way. For example, I found out that my boyfriend (my date at the time) went to middle school with my best friend. Right off the bat we were laughing about how dorky she was. On another note, some of these basic questions will be able to tell you more about someone than you would think. Just by learning where they grew up can tell you a lot about how they were raised and what they value. If they were raised in Alabama, they could have totally different values than someone who is raised in California.

Some basic questions you could ask are:

1. Where are you from?

2. Where do you live?

3. Where did you go to college?

4. What did you major in?

5. What do you do for work?

2. Ask about their interests and hobbies

Interests and hobbies are the things that keep us going. They are the things that help us wind down and decompress. These topics showcase what people are passionate about. This is where you can discover if they are more adventurous or more of a homebody. Are they out partying all weekend or are they waking up early to hike? You can get an understanding of how much free time they have and how they spend that time. Also, these interests or hobbies could be something you do on your second date (if the first date goes well).

Some basic questions you could ask:

1. What do you do when you aren’t working/at school?

2. How did you end up getting into that hobby?

3. What were some of your past interests/hobbies?

4. Why do you like it?

5. What is a normal weekend like for you?

3. Discuss some of your favorite things

Today, there is access to endless shows, movies, or books. Streaming television is the most popular activity in the United States especially with COVID-19. Chances are you probably have seen the same movies and shows because most people have Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, etc. If your date loves comedy, then you get a little insight into his or her personality. Tell them about a must-see comedy movie that you absolutely love. Another big subject you could bring up on your first date is food. When I went on my first date with my boyfriend, we discussed our favorite foods for 20 minutes straight and we could’ve kept going. We are total foodies. We decided to go out to dinner on our second date. After you talked about food and movies, you can discuss your favorite artists and music genre. Maybe you have seen an artist who you loved but were bad in concert.

Some basic questions you could ask:

1. What food is your guilty pleasure?

2. If there’s one movie that you could watch for the rest of your life, what would it be?

3. What is your favorite place to go in your free time?

4. What is your fondest memory?

5. What is your all-time favorite artist?

6. What is something you cannot live without?

7. Are you more of a TV show or movie person?

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4. Talk about friends and family

Friends and family are something that most of us could talk about for hours. Start a conversation about family. Your date could have divorced parents. Just like you. They could have plenty of interesting family traditions. Friends show a lot about who they are as well. They could explain that their best friend is sleeping with a different girl every single night. Their friends could love to party. They could love to go to church. Friends sometimes say more about them than their family does.

Some basic questions you could ask:

1. Are you close to your family?

2. Do you have any siblings?

3. How big are your family get-togethers?

4. Tell me about your best friend.

5. What is a typical night out with your friends like?

5. Share aspirations

Where do you see yourself in the future? If you ask your date where they see themselves in 5 years, they could explain that they are not looking to settle down for a while. Also, you could discover that they could have no goals and aspirations whatsoever. You should be honest about what your goals are. It’s a great way for them to get to know you better and vice versa. Your goals do not have to be about your career. They can be able if you want to jump out of an airplane or learn to play the piano. It doesn’t have to get too deep.

Some basic questions you could ask:

1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

2. What is your dream job?

3. What is a perfect life to you?

4. What drives you to work hard?

5. What are you currently working towards?

Do you have any additional advice for first dates? Please comment them below.