If there’s anything to be learned from years spent swiping on Tinder, it’s what you’re NOT looking for in a guy. It’s not guaranteed that you’ll know who Mr. Right is at the end of it, but you sure will know what it takes to be Mr. Wrong. If you want less swipe lefts, fellas, here are 5 things no guy should have in his Tinder profile.
Listen, we all took Psych 101, and we know a phallic prop when we see one. Unfortunately, a picture of your oversized truck or shiny sports car isn’t sending us into a frenzy, overwhelmed by your big, strong masculinity. This is mostly because you, the person we are actually trying to see, are not in the photo. So stop trying to hint at what you’re packing and show your actual face. If you are genuinely into cars, just put it in your bio. You don’t see girls posting pictures of their makeup collections to show how feminine they are, do you?
Maybe for a time it was funny or cute, but it isn’t anymore. If you want to post a selfie on your profile, FIRST remove the doggy ears filter, then snap. Posting pictures with filters, especially on somewhere like Tinder, feels juvenile, and they often distort your face so you’re covering up the real you we want to see. We know those big eyes aren’t real! We all spend time wishing we had them. But at the end of the day, you’re probably eventually going to meet in person, and the filters can’t help you there.
This tip requires some explanation and rules. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a group photo or two. It’s hard to have multiple good photos by yourself and it’s good to show you have friends, but there are a few downfalls of group photos, which make it necessary to only post one or two carefully selected ones. 1) Your more attractive friend. When a girl starts swiping and sees a group pic, she’s going to stop to try and figure out which one you are. The last thing you want her to do is hope it’s the profile of your more attractive friend, so be aware of the people you’re automatically setting yourself up for comparison with. 2) Huge group photos. They’re worthless. We get that you have a lot of friends, but we can barely see you, and seeing you is kind of the point.
This might only be relevant for those from certain areas, like the south, but I have seen a lot of dead deer over my years on Tinder and a lot of proud, bloodied men holding them up. I’m not trying to diss hunting as a whole. I’m not educated on the politics of it and what you do in your free time is your business (and whoever is swiping past your profile), but let’s just say a picture of a dead animal doesn’t exactly get me in the mood. Maybe the need to be provided for still subconsciously exists inside us, but I can’t say it’s ever made me swipe right on a Tinder profile.
Bios are important! They’re not the end-all be-all, but they show us more personality than photos can alone. A nice non-creepy bio helps girls feel more comfortable and more informed. That being said, we see a lot of bios. That one you love with the quote from The Office or the series of made up reviews? Yeah, it’s funny…and about 1,000 other guys have it. Don’t fall victim to the tired trends or cliches. Be funny and yourself, but give us the basic info we need to know too–what you do, what you’re into, and how tall you are. Yes, that last one is also need to know information. Sorry, not sorry.
Tinder doesn’t have to be hard. In reality, matching with different people you could possibly have a connection with should be fun. These tips are just to help those girls find you too, and swipe right on a potentially great match.
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