5 pieces of advice for living with your best friends this se,mester

Living with your besties can be a challenge. After 4 years of rooming with friends, it’s fair to say that through the good, the bad, and the ugly, I’ve learned some tips along the way that may help make it easier and save a friendship or two.

1. Roommate Problems are not Friendship Problems

This is one of the best things that I have ever learned from living with my best friends. Roommate and friend problems are two completely different things, and once you separate the two, it’s like finding a pot of gold. In other words, being a good friend is not the same thing as being a good roommate, and vise versa, bad friends don’t necessarily make bad roommates. For example, somebody didn’t unload the dishwasher… not a friend problem. Distinguish the difference with each other and you are destined for a great year.

2. Delegate

Chores can get tricky, especially with friends because you don’t want to sound like a mom or come across as bossy to your besties. I for one hate taking out the trash, and my roommates can testify that. Open communication while delegating tasks is very important. Make a damn chore chart if you have to, whatever it takes to make it clear and organized about who is in charge of what task, and when to do it by, around the house. Team work makes the dream work, and it is important tot have all hands on deck around the house. Everyone working together will also make your house feel more like a home, when everyone does their part to create a great living environemnt. A clean home makes for a clean mind.

3. 2 Closets are Better than 1

Two or three or four! No matter how many roommates you have got, everyone can benefit from shopping in someone else’s closet. My two roommates/ besties right now all borrow each others clothing everyday after having a conversation all together giving each consent to do so. It also makes shopping so much fun! If you all agree to share closets, you can basically get three times the amount of clothes for the price of one. Shoes can be tricky since it is not so common to have the same shoe size, but if you find a roomie that does that is a win for sure! This kind of goes without saying, but there are special cases where I definitely would ask if it is a special clothing item and I expect the same in return. A piece of advice? Have an open dialogue about it and pick roomies with great style!

4. Set Your Boundaries

It is super important to set boundaries when living with your best friends. One way to do this is to make sure to spend time with other friends that you don’t live with. If the only people you hang out with in your free time, you also live with, you are putting yourself in a bubble that is easy to get stuck in. So join a club at school, or get a job you enjoy, anything that is just yours to give yourself a sense of indivudality. Another way to set some healthy boundaries is by taking time to yourself. Don’t do everything with your roommates. Take time to yourself to do things you love or simple daily tasks like errands and so.

5. Speak Up

Speak now of forever hold your peace. It is difficult to know you are making your roommates mad if you can not tell that they are in fact mad. They key to living with your best friends is being open and honest in communication with when you are uncomfortable, upset, or want change in the house. Your home is meant to be your safe space, and when it suddenly is not and instead a place that brings anxiety and uncomfortable feelings it is the worst thing ever…trust me I know. Most roommate problems at the end of the day, like any other relationship, boil down to communication. It is hard to change your ways or for someone else to change theirs if one does not know they are bothering the other. Be honest and attack conflicts and problems head on and living with your besties will create memories that will last a lifetime.

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Finding good roommates is kind of like dating. You may need to have a few before you know what you want and what you are looking for. Some will end terribly and some will end but with no bad consequences. And once you find the ones that just simply work, it will just feel right and all is well. My freshman year of college I had terrible roommates. Girls who loved to stay home and talk shit about me 24/7. To the point where it is what their entire group message revolved around. So what did I do when I fun out? I spoke up and made it clear that this was my home every bit as much as it is theirs. The conversation ended with them crying as they felt so bad for the way they had been treating me. And Covid struck at the perfect time because we were forced out of college and back home less than 2 months later. Although this bad experience may have left me with some roommate PTSD, I would not change it for the world because it taught me what I want and need in my next living situation. The roommate Gods blessed me the next couple years with great friends that I lived with. Being able to take with me what I learned and put it to good use this time around changed the game for real. The memories that I have been able to make while living with my best friends are memories that I wish cherish for the rest of my life and tell my kids about someday.