Motherhood is a secret society and there are just things only mothers understand. We are bonded through experiences. Fellow moms, I am positive you can relate to the following!
Being a mom is a full time job, the biggest difference is you don’t get paid (in currency anyways). You handle everything from appointments, practices, illnesses, hurt feelings, and your own personal issues. I would say mothers are the real super heroes.
If you thought finding your lip gloss was hard, wait until your purse becomes a diaper bag. You will have an endless supply of candy, snacks, and toys. But on the bright side, you will ALWAYS be prepared.
You will often find yourself munching on air (it actually tastes pretty good with ketchup) as your little one brings you a plate of imaginary cookies – you don’t ask what kind they are, you simply chow down on 3 delicious cookies and ask for a cup of imaginary juice.
Seriously, you can hear a mouse sneeze. Being a mom automatically gives you superhuman abilities. You can see your child sneaking juice in the shower and hear them eating candy all the way in the basement. Things only mothers understand.
Sleep becomes a myth. Every time your eyes close, your mom instincts kick in leaving you wide awake and in high alert. Bye-bye to that 2 hour daily nap you are use to.
Jogging pants, t-shirt, and sneakers are a mother’s biggest fashion statement. After carrying around a little person for 9 months, you deserve to be comfortable. Only mothers understand that being comfy is the meaning of true sexiness.
A trip to the grocery store is a vacation – just a little bit of alone time is all a sleep deprived mother needs. Read a book. Shop. Breathe without worrying about someone getting hurt.
You will find yourself voluntarily reaching into your child’s nose to get that big booger out. Even better, you will unconsciously offer them the hem of your favorite shirt to blow their nose and wipe their dirty little fingers.
Any picture that you can get your kids to even remotely glance or grin at the camera is a success.
Having to explain to your professor that your child accidentally hit send on your laptop which is why he received a raunchy picture instead of your midterm exam.
Only mothers understand that no matter how hard you try to instill your pacifist ways into your children, the fact remains that children have wild imaginations…and they love guns. You don’t have to buy anything that even resembles a gun and you will hear shooting noises and see them holding it to fire. They will use a toilet roll. A banana. A sword. A pencil. I promise it is inevitable. JUST BREATHE.
You will NEVER pee or poop without an audience. When you wipe your bum you will get a pat on the leg and genuine applause.
EVERYTHING becomes an opportunity for a learning experience.
There is nothing like the connection you naturally have with your child and no one will ever understand that bond or come between it. Never.
The quieter they are, the bigger the mess they made.
You thought you knew messy…until you have kids.
The look you give your child or children when they are being “bad” that instantly corrects that deviant behavior.
You know what I’m talking about – those days where you get a serious case of the “fudge its.” The kitchen is dirty? “Fudge it.” The floor needs to be mopped? “Fudge it.” I need to take a shower? “Fudge it.”
At the end of the day, you get to cuddle with your little terrors. You feel all the love and security. You feel accomplished you “survived” another day. Laying there preparing to spend the rest of your night worrying about their safety, but you smile as you drift off to sleep knowing tomorrow is a new day and you get a chance to start anew. You got it, temper tantrums and all.
*Note: DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT let your children’s unruly behavior be a total reflection of your parenting. You have to remember that children have their own personality and are ultimately going to do what they want to do. We are here to love them and guide them!
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