15 Signs You Go To UMass Amherst
Keep reading for 15 signs you go to UMass Amherst!
1. You realize that the best mac n’ cheese you’ve ever had is at the Procrastination Station in DuBois Library.
Whether you’re studying for finals or just jamming out to the latest playlist you found on Spotify, the mac n’ cheese in the Procrastination Station is hard to beat.
Pro tip: Always tell them you’re getting a large soup instead of mac n’ cheese, so you don’t have to pay the extra three dollars.
2. You allow an extra five minutes of walking time due to the wind by the library.
If you go to UMass Amherst, you know that getting to the library can mean dealing with an insane amount of wind, especially during the winter. Make sure you avoid this at all costs, freshmen.
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3. You know what sacrificing a human life looks like when the bus driver refuses to let all the people onto the bus.
You’ve never truly experienced regret until you’ve waited the extra two minutes for the bus in the freezing cold. Those two minutes could really (and have) determined my fate and my absences to class.
Pro tip: Just go downstairs and wait. Don’t think that you’ll be lucky one day, because that’s the mentality of about 10,000 other beings on campus.
4. You know exactly where everything is just by its distance to the library.
When I was a freshman, it took me weeks to learn my way around campus. Even today, when I have a class that’s not part of my major, I have trouble getting there.
5. You have lived off Grab N’ Go food for days at a time.
There’s nothing better than having an unlimited meal plan and/or living near Frank and Burke Dining Halls, and being able to fill up a brown paper bag with the best-tasting university foods that have ever existed.
6. You live for the days where you can brag to your non-UMass friends that we get to eat steak and lobsters on Halloween.
Though we cannot confirm or deny that alumni Bill Cosby supplies this fabulous tradition every year, we can confirm that after a long day of parties and celebration, Halloween at UMass Amherst is not a true Halloween until you have been offered a voucher for a free steak and lobster.
7. You never miss the opportunity to go to the Townhouses on a Saturday afternoon.
It is true, the UMass party culture exists, but it is not the only thing to do around campus. The university supplies an enormous amount of activities to do throughout the week, so that if you’re not interested in trekking to the Townhouses or Hobart on a sunny Saturday afternoon, you can enjoy it however you please.
8. You always get hyped when you hear the drum line practicing in the fall for upcoming football games.
I don’t know if this was just me because I come from a pep band background, but I am always hyped when I hear the drum line from the UMass Marching Band going down Massachusetts Avenue. Keep doing your thing, UMMB.
9. You haven’t lived until you’ve been to a real UMass tailgate.
If you grew up worshipping your high school or state college football team, then this is definitely not the place for you. Thousands of students, parents, and distinguished alumna come together on cold Saturday mornings in October to show their UMass spirit and appreciation for all things athletic. But, this is about how far it goes. Less than a handful of the tailgaters go to the actual football games.
Pro tip: The real hype is the post-tailgate eating at Berke Dining Hall, to be honest.
10. You absolutely cannot go to UMass without seeing the dancing man at the hockey games.
For some strange reason, there’s a man that resembles the Kumble Subbaswamy look-a-like who dances his head off during the home hockey games. Not only does it take your mind off of a game that might potentially end in a sad night, but it makes the crowd go nuts.
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11. You’re absolutely done hearing about anything pistachio-related after Pistachio Week at Hampshire Dining Commons.
Last year, the Hampshire Dining Commons held a “Pistachio Week” in honor of the company, Pom, who decided to grace us with their presence. The company itself runs companies that sell both pomegranate juice and pistachios, amongst their other endeavors.
Pro tip: Steer clear of Hampshire Dining Commons if you’re allergic to nuts during the spring semester. You never know when the pistachios are going to be placed in every dish known to man.
12. Your world has not been complete unless you’ve hopped to and from houses on Phillips Street on a Friday night.
Ah, the infamous trip to Phillips on a weekend night. If you’re under 21, or you’re just a broke college student like myself, you can understand how this can be the highlight of your week.
Pro tip: If you’re a guy, your male to female ratio should be at least 1:8. Trust the system.
13. You would rather skip class and suffer the consequences than trudge through the snow to class during a frigid, winter morning.
Enough said.
14. 8am calculus courses will never be your best friend.
Before you trudge through the frigid mornings at UMass Amherst because you “want to end your day early”, don’t sign up for these classes. They will mask themselves as a godsend and then reveal themselves as your worst nightmare.
15. You will always be in love with being a Minuteman.
There’s no doubt in my mind that everybody at UMass will back the notion that we have some serious school spirit. With maroon, white, and black being our main colors, you can see that color choice splashed across ¾ of campus.
Pro tip: You’re not a Minuteman until you’ve a) high-fived Sam the Minuteman, and b) bought yourself a UMass t-shirt.
Well, there you go. If you’ve been lucky enough to be accepted into this fine institution, congratulations. You’re in for the time of your life.
