Categories: Confessions

12 of The Weirdest Reasons Why People Got Divorced, As Told By Divorce Lawyers

As reported by Jason Crowley’s article “What Are Common Reasons for Divorce?”, some of the most common reasons why people get divorced include infidelity, abuse, addictions, irreconcilable differences, lack of compatibility, and getting married too young or for the wrong reasons, to name a few. However, there some couples out there who get divorced for reasons that are so weird and will having you making The Confused Nick Young Face (5:37-5:45 in the attached video).

That is why some divorce lawyers involved in cases like these are spilling the tea online on websites like BuzzFeed, Reddit, Distractify, and Bored Panda. For example, a Reddit thread was flooded with many responses after Reddit User KylonneSpencer asked Divorce Lawyers to share the weirdest reasons their clients ever got divorced. Trust me, there were a lot of reasons on that thread (as well as on other websites) that are so wack and out of this world, I almost couldn’t believe it. 

Now, with all of that being said, here are 12 of The Weirdest Reasons Why People Got Divorced, As Told By Divorce Lawyers: 

1. This Couple Divorced Because The Mother of The Husband Still Breastfeeds Him

My client divorced her husband because he insisted on bringing his mother on their honeymoon. The reason? Because his mother was STILL breastfeeding him. Yes, the husband, a grown man, was still breastfeeding.”

-Omgiscarolein shared with BuzzFeed 

2. This Divorce Lawyer’s Story Is The Making of A Good Soap Opera and/or Movie:

“I had two couples come to me. They had been friends for nigh on 15 years. Husband A decided he liked Wife B more than Wife A. Wife A decided she likes Husband B more than Husband A. The reverse was also true, and Husband B preferred Wife A, Wife B preferred Husband A. The couples had near identical assets in terms of value. They came to me all together, and I drafted two sets of paperwork. Two default judgment hearings were set on the same day. The judge signed all the papers the same day.

A week after that, they all went to a JP and remarried. The husbands swapped houses and they all went about their lives exactly as they had the week before, but each slightly happier.”

-Atonyalaw shared on Bored Panda

3. The Husband’s D*ck Was Too Big

“Not a lawyer, but a friend of mine divorced her husband because his dick was too big. They were dating about six months, got a courthouse wedding, and separated about six months after. She said it was fun at first but the sex became “too much work”. She said it took a lot of preparation. Apparently, as well, he was pushing for some butt stuff.

When she first told me off-hand, I refused to believe it. She showed me a picture of them dancing at their reception and holy shit was this guy packing heat.”

Redditor PantiesMalone

4. The Couple Who Got Divorced The Same Day They Got Married

I knew someone who got divorced the same day they got married. The groom was dancing with his sister at the reception, and the bride asked to cut in. His sister tried to punch her in the face but missed and punched the bride’s sister. All hell broke loose. The night ended with the bride asking the groom to choose between her or his sisters. He chose his sisters. The dinner hadn’t even been served yet! I’m sure the bride ignored countless red flags.”

-Carolina Rodriguez de Saucedo shared with BuzzFeed 

5. This Couple Divorced Because The Husband Had OCD and Was A Toilet Paper Tyrant

“My client (the husband in this case) was the outrageous one, so my heart went out to his poor wife. He had OCD which manifested primarily financially, so he made their lives a penny-pinching hell. Examples: he was obsessed with avoiding unnecessary driving (wear and tear on the car, gas expenses), so he cut the whole family’s hair at home and never let them eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. Weirdest of all: he kept one toilet paper roll on him at all times and you had to get one square from him before you could go to the bathroom. He never gave more than one square. Wife finally got fed up and left him when 1) he gave her bangs during an in-home haircut and 2) their daughter was so traumatized by the toilet paper thing they couldn’t potty train her.

Also: he HATED paying his divorce lawyer bill. He was also an old-fashioned mega-catholic who considered divorce a deadly sin. He viewed my whole job as an unnecessary (and sinful) expense.

-Julietcaravello1 shared with Distractify

6. A Sandwich Was The Reason Why This Couple Got Divorced

“My MIL divorced my FIL because he ate a sandwich…she got crushed (relatively speaking) in the divorce because she couldn’t get a decent lawyer to take her seriously.”

Redditor TheBeardItches

7. She Divorced Him Because He Paid More Attention To His Pin Ball Machine Collection

“He loved his pinball machine collection more than her. Also, it turns out some pinball machines can be worth a shit load of money.”

Redditor Stervenjerbs

8. He Refused To Rub Her Feet

“My Dad has been married several times (more than 4). His last wife asked him to rub her feet and he said no. She told him to get the f*ck out. He was super excited and said ok bye, you will hear from my attorney.

Obviously, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Makes me laugh every time someone asks why [they divorced] ?!! No feet rub for you!!

See Also

Redditor Conniedew

9. The Couple Fought So Much Over Golf

“A friend of the family got divorced by her husband because she couldn’t outperform him on the golf course.. we all think he was cheating and just wanted an excuse but she did say he would often yell at her in public while golfing and mock her for her “attention to detail” whatever the fuck that means in golf… He would also force the family to go golfing on most weekends so it’s hard to say if that was the real reason or not. She doesn’t even like golf but was, and still is, afraid to tell him that.”

Redditor ShenroEU 

10. The Dogs Were The Reason Why This Couple Divorced

My friend divorced her husband because she read his text messages and saw that he was talking crap about her dogs to his friends. Her DOGS!”

-Missstabby shared with BuzzFeed 

11. The Reason Why This Couple Got Divorced Sounds Like Something That’s Straight Out of Seinfeld

“I had a client file for divorce because every morning his wife would ask him how he takes his coffee…for seven years.” 

Redditor BlankSmitty

12. The Cat Was The Reason Why This Couple Divorced

“A couple got divorced over a cat. The wife called cat Snowball because of white fur and only wanted the cat to eat wet food or chicken breast. The husband called cat Lily again because of white fur and believed it should only eat dry food. These two argued for a year over custody of the cat but did not give a s**t about their human kids aged 15 months, 4 years, and 6 years old.”

-Sxcamaro shared on Bored Panda

Besides the stories listed above, what are some of the weirdest reasons that you have heard of as to why people got divorced? If you have any good stories, be sure to let us know in the comments section below!

Featured Image Source: https://pin.it/4d5HoI6
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Brianna Oard

I am currently a senior at The University of Miami. I will graduate in December 2021 with a major in Journalism and minor in Sports Administration.

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